The one thing I regret (I try not to spend much of my life regretting, but it happens often) from my struggles with mental and physical health is being afraid to even try.
I would say no to things because I didn’t feel like I was up to the task. What I wish I had done was just attempt a modified version of it. Maybe my issues kept me from being able to do as much as other people but I could’ve done something. I could’ve gone and seen how it would’ve gone. I was so afraid of embarrassing myself or not being able to keep up with everyone else that I just declined.
I thought everyone would have more fun if I wasn’t there holding them back. I hope none of my friends who struggle with things feel that way. I want you to come, even if you just sit in the corner and watch. I want you to come and be with us. I want you to suggest things that would be fun for you. I hope you don’t worry about being lame, like I always did.
I recently was all gung-ho to do a 30-day ab challenge and it made my body hurt like a mother. So we’re back to yoga and gentle stretching and walking…Yeah, walking. So lame. I’m young. I want to be sprinting up mountains. I want to be able to touch my toes. But I can’t. Some days I can’t get out of bed. I can’t eat everything I want. I am, in fact, kind of lame. But, I think it’s okay. I wish I was better about owning my lameness instead of trying to hide from it.
I am Lauren Laws. And I am lame.
And as I start working with my body and mind and it’s lameness I start to make progress towards less lame-ness. I’m getting a bit repetitive in these posts, but there really is a power in working with your weaknesses instead of against them. Constantly focusing on the negative seems productive but ultimately stops you from progressing.
I love writing, but I hurt my arm, so I’m writing only ten minutes at a time and doing a podcast. When I can’t get out of bed, I try and work from bed. When I don’t feel up to doing something I try and do something else. It’s not easy. And some days I literally don’t do anything, but most days I wake up feeling like I can’t do anything that day and by the time I go to bed I realize I have done something. And, again, I know other people have it way worse than me, but maybe some of the same principles can apply.
Stop beating yourself up. And don’t give up. How can you work within your limitations?