Did you hear about the girl who got stuck in a chimney trying to break into the house of the guy who dumped her?

Another shot from entrapment call. Chimney flue was lubricated with dish soap prior to hoisting patient pic.twitter.com/KtkX1bVdmV

— Capt Mike Lindbery (@VCFD_PIO) October 19, 2014

So the chimney entrance didn’t work so well for her, but it got me thinking. What else can we learn from Santa Clause that can be used in relationships?

1. See Them When They’re Sleeping and When They’re Awake

If Twilight has taught us anything (which it hasn’t) it’s that girls love it when their boyfriend sneaks into their window and watches them sleep.

2. Ask for a List of Demands

Might as well tell the person you’re dating to write down exactly what it is they want from you. It’s your best chance at delivering.

3. Bribery

It’s the truest form of motivation.

4. Don’t Worry About Your Weight 

People love Santa despite his addiction to cookies and milk. Why should you change who you are for someone else? Keep in mind that a big reason people don’t care about his weight probably has to do with the fact he’s always bringing presents (see #3). #SugarDaddy

5. If You’re a Guy, Grow a Beard

It’s the manly thing to do.

But don’t use the chimney.

Use the door unless you actually have magical powers. You don’t want to end up covered in soot and dish soap.