Third week in a row, who thought I’d keep this up? I sure didn’t.
This Thanksgiving I went to my friend (and writing partner) John’s house to spend time with his entire family—they’re all delightful. As a result, I didn’t plan anything and just went with the flow, even willingly seeing Frozen 2 for the second time in one week. The older (and wiser?) I get the more I realize I have control issues.
It feels good to be in control so we all try and find control in whatever ways we can. I get really bossy when given any kind of power. But we can’t ever really be totally in control of our lives. Outside elements, other people’s choices, our own limitations, and a slew of other things keep us from being able to just do whatever we want.
So the point of all this is that it was really refreshing to go somewhere for the weekend and not worry about or try and control anything. I didn’t do any work—except for a second. We only worried about our writing project for a set couple of hours—and it went really well because we were focused and in it. And now I actually feel—dare I say it? Refreshed. The ability to relax is not something I’m good at, but I think I managed to do a little this past week.
I’m fortunate to have a flexible job in the sense that I don’t have to be there right at 8:00 on the dot. Because of that, and the fact I can’t really sleep in, I have set an alarm maybe 5 times this year. I realize not everyone can do that, but it’s been amazing. The sound of alarms has caused me so much anxiety over the years and that’s no way to start your day.
I found a Twitter thread where people were responding with places you can go to totally unplug and it had me thinking that might be a great vacation sometime.
Is there a place that isn’t jail where you can check yourself in and everyone has to leave you alone once you do?
— Tressie McMillan Cottom (@tressiemcphd) November 30, 2019
Being Grateful for Where You’re At
Okay, so it was the week of being thankful. On the theme of not being in control, I cannot say that I’m totally where I want to be in life right now. Having a hard time when I interact with people younger than me with 3-4 kids who are happy and established in their career. Or people who are single and seem to be having a lot more fun than me. Or people who are married, and stay married. There are a lot of people I’d like to be like for different reasons but the moral of it is…
The grass is always greener. There are things I can do as a single person I wouldn’t be able to do if I was married—like visit a friend for thanksgiving. And things I definitely couldn’t do if I was a mom—like sleep.
Okay, I mentioned Frozen 2×2 times I’ve seen it now. I had a lot of issues with it. Probably random things that only bug me for a some of them. Like Olaf’s song about how everything will make sense when he’s older? Like, I don’t want my kids to think like that. I want them to question and learn as they grow. Obviously there will be things they won’t understand yet, but he’s going on and on about how things are scary but it’s probably okay. When, it’s not, spoiler alert, the dude is actually in real danger at the time he’s singing it and maybe it’s not okay to just assume things will get better when you’re older. Because they won’t.
Also saw Charlie’s Angels. All I had heard going into it was everyone saying how hot Kristen Stewart was and if I’m being honest the other two (look up names) were way hotter. Nothing life changing–though Elizabeth Banks saying, “Hugs work” is going to stick with me. And there were some good clothes.